When Your Kids Ask a Question You Don't Know

It's the moment every mom dreads during Bible time.

You're reading along, the discussion is going great, and then your 12-year-old looks up and asks something like, "If God knew Adam and Eve would sin, why did He put the tree there?"

And your mind goes blank.

I've been there! Here's what I want you to know: that moment isn't a failure. It's one of the best things that can happen during your family's Bible time.

You Don't Have to Know Everything

Nobody knows all the answers. Not me, not your pastor, not the best theologians in history. The Bible is deep, and God is bigger than our understanding.

When you admit you don't know, you're not losing your kids' respect. You're showing them something important: we never stop learning about God. We love His Word so much that we keep digging.

Just Say It

Here's my go-to response: "I'm not sure. Let's find out!"

That's it. Simple and honest. And it turns you from the teacher into a fellow learner right alongside your kids. Honestly, those are some of our best Bible times.

How to Find the Answer Together

Look at the context. Read the chapters before and after. Sometimes the answer is right there.
Follow the cross-references. A study Bible can show you other verses that talk about the same thing. Scripture is the best explanation of Scripture.
Check your guide. Our discussion guides include answers and background for the big questions.
Look it up later. It's okay to say, "Let's think about it and come back tomorrow." Kids love it when you remember!
Reference trusted websites. The Ask Pastor John podcast by John Piper (with a quick transcript if you prefer to read) covers all sorts of questions. GotQuestions.com is excellent. I also use Ligonier.org, Monergism.com, and the tools at BlueLetterBible.org. There are plenty of other good sites though!
Ask someone. Your pastor, a friend, or me! I'm always happy to help if you email me.

Some Questions Don't Have Full Answers

Sometimes you'll dig and still not find a complete answer. That's okay too.

Deuteronomy 29:29 says, "The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever."

We won't understand everything about God. If we could, He wouldn't be God! Teaching your kids to trust Him with what they don't understand is one of the most important lessons of all. When they face hard questions later in life, they'll know that "I don't know" doesn't mean "It isn't true."

Hard Questions Are a Good Sign

When your kids ask tough questions, it means they're thinking. They're engaging with God's Word, not just sitting through it. That's exactly what we want!

So the next time your mind goes blank, take a breath and smile. You've just been invited into one of the best conversations you'll ever have with your kids.

Want Help With the Hard Questions?

Our Bible Study Discussion Guides include background, answers, and resources for the tough questions that come up as you talk through the Bible, so you never have to face them alone. Just open and go!